Friday, March 14, 2008

too much talkie

If you know me, you know that one of my weaknesses is what comes outta my mouth. Often times I don't necessarily think before things fly out. Not sure why, but this problem has gotten worse ever since I got back home.

Yesterday we went to our scheduled appointment for Big P (at the surgeon, children's hospital #2) yesterday and the girl at the front desk wouldn't even let him in to see the doctor. Why? Because she wanted to see Big P's PASSPORT.

That's right.
Doesn't that make perfect sense?
I mean EVERY TIME that I take my children to see the doctor, I ALWAYS get asked to show their INTERNATIONAL picture ID.
Don't you?

"It's too bad that you noticed my kids are black."
(receptionist stands up)
"It's not that! We just -"
"That's fine. When can I schedule another appointment?"
(receptionist sits down and begins typing on her keyboard)

...Sure. I feel bad now. And little did that receptionist know that she's not the first person (or business) to ask me for WEIRD things upon seeing that my child/children's skin is darker than mine. Cone to think of it, Children's (1st hospital) did too... but at least they only asked for adoption paperwork. That's a little less obvious.

But COME ON FOLKS. Don't tell me that if I was AA or my kids were all pale that it would even occur to you that I might be bringing in some strange child off of the street and trying to give them health care off of our insurance...??? Honestly. The whole thing is bizarre.

Maybe we shoulda adopted from Russia!?!


Sarah said...

That is annoying. A day in your shoes is interesting. FREAKING annoying, but interesting. Want me to come with you next time? I could whip out my can. ;-)


Anonymous said...

Hang in there, lady! I'm glad you made that statment to her "too bad you noticed my kids were black" maybe she'll think twice next time??


Aly Cat 121 said...

ummm CHECK! I'm glad you said that sh*t. That's the same thing we been saying about so called "immigrants" for years. If you just happen to be NON colored no one questions your right to be in the United States, but be dark with some waves in your hair, then you must have swam here or crawled under a dayum fence.

Good for you! That heffa should feel bad. (ohh and they ask me for weird sh*t too, just in case I'm using my sisters insurance).

Erica said...

I was just asked the same thing yesterday at the hospital about Kp. I thought, "you've never asked for verification of who my children are as long as I have an insurance card!" And I am also a prisoner to the ole OPEN mouth INSERT foot!

Stephanie said...

I cant blame you....I would have done the same thing.

Anonymous said...

That reminds me of when we brought our septic, hours away from death babies to the University Hospital here and the triage nurse WENT OFF and said, "Oh great, you bring these kids here from Africa and now we're going to get all their diseases. What's wrong with those African women anyway, don't they know about birth control? Why do they keep having babies?" I remember internally chanting, "Oh God, make me holy, Oh God, make me holy" but thankfully I didn't have to wait too much longer before a friendly ER doc walked by and noticed our babies were in severe respiratory distress and their organ systems were shutting down and quickly got them in the PICU.

I'm happy your family is raising awareness Rach, that yes, Jesus loves all the little children of the world, red and yellow black and white!

Love you, Jenny

Angie said...

Ok first of all- To Jenny, That nurse should LOSE HER JOB!!! I can not believe that, I am soo sorry. I would have smacked her.

Don't be so hard on yourself. She deserved what you said. Asking for proof of adoption would have sufficed. Or checking with the insurance to see if he was on your policy.

Anonymous said...

You are so much nicer than I would have been. Love your statement.

I hope you got her name and reported her to the HR department. She should be fired. (As should the nurse from Jenny's post.)

This isn't nearly as extreme, but I had my first child when I was 28. And I know I look really young. A receptionist at my doctor's office was fired for telling me "babies shouldn't be having babies." As if my DOB wasn't on the file she was holding.

Fortunately my MIL was a nurse there and let her have it so I didn't have to. And then they fired her (the receptionist not my MIL).

Then when I was expecting my second child, I was really sick and went to the walk-in clinic. I had my hair in a ponytail, no makeup, and sweats and a sweatshirt. The receptionist didn't even ask my name, she asked for my welfare coupons. My MIL had her fired too.

There is no excuse for assuming anything. I say have them all reprimanded and/or fired.

Anonymous said...

This sort of thing happens a lot to me-and MY daughter is my biological child! She just happens to be biracial-dad is black.

Though I've never been asked for her papers, I'm often asked if I am, in fact, her mother. The most memorable comments include: "Where did you get gher from?" Um. And, "Are you SURE the doctors didn't mix up the babies in the hospital?"

My husband deals with it too-when our daughter was little and in the grocery basket, cashiers often stopped him as he'd begin pushing the cart through the line as I stood at the card reader.

People can be really clueless sometimes.

Dem Mom said...

My best friend has 2 beautiful boys, both adopted biracial babies. Someone said to her once, "What are they?" After having the woman repeat herself, as to figure out exactly what she meant, my friend said, "They are my children. What else would you like to know?" I cannot believe how stupid people are.

Tracey in CT said...

That is so annoying.

On the other hand, our medical practice is affiliated with the University Hospital here, and in the last couple of years, they have posted signs that noone will receive any treatment without photo ID. For my children, that means I have to show MY drivers license or the doctors will not see them. Apparently it has to do with insurance fraud.

But why would the even assume that a child has a passport and ask for that? I would complain to someone about it.

Renee said...

I am a friend of Tabitha's. We have 13 children, eight white, one biracial, one African American and three Liberian. We just had trouble getting into the Seattle Aquarium on a family pass. When I was discussing the situation on the phone w/ the lady at the aquarium I said, "My husband and I are white and five of our children are black. Maybe the lady working at the counter didn't think they were our children?" and the lady on the phone said, "Oh no, we would NEVER question if they were really your children". Yeah, right. We are currently in a struggle w/ our insurance company to prove our adopted children are really our children. Even my son whose been adopted for FIVE YEARS! They want to see his adoption decree. We're like, no way, his court documents are none of your business. We have a birth certificate w/ our names on it. It's a legal document proving he's our son!!!

Mandy said...

Oh wow, you were nice. I wrote a similar post today about the strangers that ask me questions they feel are their business b/c I am white and my children are black. I am so glad to have stumbled upon your blog. I hope Big P gets the care he needs. I will pray for him and all of you.