Saturday, June 21, 2008

..can you say that..?

We have an additional kid who mostly lives here. We love her - she's a neighborhood kid with a really good heart. She (and sometimes her siblings) eat lunch and dinner here and then head home whenever I make my kids get ready for bed. She fits right in with the girls and keeps them busy goofing around outside. For some reason, the kids are WAY more interested in playing outside when someone from outside of the family is over... Anyway...

The other evening, as they were saying goodnight, she was in her yard standing at the fence (aka the secret spot; it's hidden by some trees and the shed) and two of my girls were on this side of the fence. One of my girls threw grass in the neighbors girls' hair. The next day her mom wouldn't let her come over because my kid threw grass in her hair (?). When I heard this news, everything in me went into MEGA high defense mode.

What about how earlier that day she was throwing mud balls at my boys?
Betcha she didn't tell her mom that.
Or how about the 80 million other days that she hasn't gotten grass in her hair?
Those don't count against this one time?
Is it really that freakin' big of a deal anyway?
You can just shake the grass out...
Why all the bitterness when we've so easily folded your daughter in with our own?

And then I realized that I was being every bit as ridiculous as the situation. I was getting all into a tizzy... why? Over some grass?
Deep breath.
"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." - 2 Corinthians 10:5
Taking thought.
Walking it out.
Handing it over.
Leaving it behind.

Because the truth is, anyone can assume whatever they want about us. We cannot change anyone's opinions. We cannot prove to them our devotion, our love, our loyalty... and fra-eeking out about such silliness is a total waste of time. Every part of us that they saw... negated over some grass?

I wish that I could open myself up totally so that her momma could see my heart. But I can't. And if I did, would she see what was in front of her anyway? So I, that day, decided that enough was enough. Words are just words at some point. The actions, I hoped, would speak louder. And so I said nada.

The neighbor girl called a few times that day to talk to the girls - she missed them! They have been almost living together for a while now. The next morning, she was waiting at 'the secret place.'
Her mom said it was okay to come over.

4 comments:

remnant reminscences said...

"We cannot prove to them our devotion, our love, our loyalty..."

Chances are you have proved all the above to the mother...she sees it, envies it and thus reacted the way she did...?

Just a thought?

Take courage knowing that your children's heart belongs to you and that it's your home that that little girl is coming too, not someone of lesser...um...virtue and reputation.

Raquel said...

Boy, Lisa. I wish I knew. If I knew then I'd feel more adequate in order to fix silly situations such as these.

Chantel said...

you are so right about what you did. i wish that i had the clarity to realize that myself in a situation like that. as i was reading your blog i was getting defensive as well. who does this lady think she is? but as i kept reading i realized...you were right on. i love it. such an insipration to flip my own thinking. :)

Danielle said...

Great post...have had alot of these moments myself:)

By the way, tagged ya. I expect wit:) No pressure!LOL

Couch would have been an upgrade to the floor I slept on...but we had fun and I slept really well.

D.