Thursday, May 29, 2008

brokenness and disruption

–verb (used with object) cause disorder or turmoil in: The news disrupted their conference. destroy, usually temporarily, the normal continuance or unity of; interrupt: Telephone service was disrupted for hours. break apart: to disrupt a connection.
4.broken apart; disrupted.
(as found on this dictionary)

I read on wikipedia this morning that disruptions are "rarely discussed in public." Like politics and religion? HA! Shall we??

If you don't feel like following my links, disruption is the common term used when adoptive parents (for whatever reason) decide that they don't want the child to be a part of their family anymore. It is a legal process that ensures that the child is no longer the adoptive parents responsibility. Thus the child re-enters (or enters for the first time) the foster care system.

I just learned this morning that no such action/law exists if a family has a child biologically. So.... if we legally promise to care for a child, we can exit that covenant. But if we give birth to a sociopath, no such luck; we're stuck with the responsibility for life.

Is that crazy to anyone else? How is it that we as a society can legally enable people to not see these children that they adopted as their own? We aren't responsible to raise the children that we promised to raise?? I recognize that I'm an individual and that I have a unique family compared to everyone else on the planet. And YET I would never ever hand my bio daughter over to the foster care system. NEVER. The girl could run around with steak knives a flailin' and my mind would not be changed.

So why on earth would it even occur to me to do that to a child that I promised that I would raise? And our laws support this kind of thinking! What on earth is wrong with us humans?

I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but did you see the bit about Will Smith talking about how he feels about divorce? "It's not even an option." Why don't we, as adoptive parents feel that way towards our own children? That disruption isn't even an option. And he's a scientologist! And I FULLY understand that there are a MINORITY of children that get adopted that have major issues. And yet, if it was your bio kid, what other option would you have? Legally, there would be none.

Sho' makes me thankful that I have a God (or He's got me, rather) who isn't going to disrupt me from our relationship. I was adopted into that family. "God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son." (Eph 1:4-6)

No law can separate me from Him. No one can take that away.


Danielle said...

Is this where I say "Amen?" Amen.

I personally couldn't agree more.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know that...thanks for sharing...we learn something new everyday.

Sarah said...

I remember when we were living in Anchorage, this woman stood up in church sharing and crying over this little Russian girl they'd adopted, they'd had her for probably 6 or more years by this time. She said they were just about ready to send her into foster care or somewhere else when she finally got saved and was then tolerable. I was shocked that someone that made that commintment of adoption even had that option, I will never forget that woman, and how it permanently changed my view of her. Isn't it good that God doesn't get rid of us when we are completely intolerable? Thanks for sharing this. Good stuff.

Heidi W said...

We had made a commitment to our daughter before we ever went to pick her up in Ethiopia. Disruption was not an option.

I cannot know if it is unavoidable in some of the most extreme circumstanced (I'm not living their lives) but we have known several parents who have disrupted within weeks because it was harder than they thought it would be. :(

Anyway... this is something that needs to be talked about.


Aly Cat 121 said...

Yeah isn't that something? It's like property, if you don't like "it" then just return "it." And yet, I'm NOT surprised. We do live in a society that puts it's trust in God onto a dollar bill (and all other currency for that matter) - ever wonder why?